for me, too

I sit, counting gifts, in the quiet.  Steaming cup of morning coffee by my side, the dawn's sunbeams beginning to peek in the back windows.

#96.  warm coffee on a brisk morning

#97. pretty pink pen

#98. dog sleeping peacefully

#99. dear friends

...and I stop.  I'm at 100 already?  I mean, I'll admit, I did start this thing months ago, but wasn't really being faithful until the beginning of this year...

What should I write for my 100th gift?  Shouldn't it be something special, something wonderfully profound?

I ponder, and remember something.

...and I write:

#100. grace

Okay, okay, I admit--it's beautifully Christianese isn't it?  :-)

Let me explain.

I find that I have a hard time remembering that grace applies to me too.  I mean, I talk about it all the time.  I preach it from the rooftops, I proclaim its promises upon the weary and broken...but I seem to miss it for myself.  

I realized this when chatting online with a friend the other night.  I was telling her about a situation in which I was fearful of the outcome because of some past mistakes that I had made.  I could almost feel her warm smile and arm around me when she said, "Ok. Let's move past that. We all make mistakes and God is in the business of redemption."

It sounds like the same old, same old.  But to me at that moment, it was like a flashbulb moment.

The words of a sermon by Paul Washer that I had been listening to not too long ago came to mind:

"How dare you think that your sin has more power than the blood of Jesus Christ? How dare you think that your puny disobedience is stronger than His obedience? 

You are dressed. You are dressed proper. You could go to a wedding at this very moment in the very court of God because He dressed you. And you are attractive to Him because He made you attractive to Him by His own work and if He hadn’t done it you would have never got there. 

It is all about Him." 

(Click HERE to listen to the full sermon or read the transcript--it's fantastic, don't miss it!)

I believed that His blood was enough for my sin in general, but for some reason, when it came to the everyday stupid mistakes that I made, it felt like I had to manage those on my own.  Pay for the consequences, deal with it.

Wrong.

God cares about everything.  Jesus' blood covers everything.  He is strong enough to overcome all.

He is powerful enough to redeem even me and my hopeless, everyday mistakes, distresses and grievances.  He is strong enough to daily cleanse me, to hourly redeem me, to forgive me and love me, moment by moment.

Do we deal with consequences from our actions and mistakes?  Yes.  

But the glorious promise that we have is that we never have to go at it alone, and that if we surrender ourselves to Him, He can take our weakest points and turn them into opportunities for His glory.

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."  

~Romans 8:28

"...and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” 

~Matthew 28:20b

#100. remembering that grace is for me, too 

joy dare: three graces from people you love

(Yes, it's late.  Apologies for the poor quality-unedited photos! :-))

Paul Michael Victor, peacefully slumbering on me

Around last summer, I was experiencing a pretty stressful season.  To force myself to stop and slow down, I would hold Paul on the porch swing when he would get fussy and rock and rock.  I couldn't have my laptop open, I couldn't type emails, update spreadsheets, edit text, etc.  I was forced to just quietly rock the swing, ponder and pray.  The feeling of a sweet little baby falling asleep on you is exhilarating; I quickly grew addicted to my "therapy"...even to this day :-)

a candle, birthday present from my dear friend Elise

A spicy, rich scent--I lit it today on the window sill while doing dishes.

What a blessing it is to have friends that know me...and my silly obsessions with scents ;-)

my ring, reminder of love and grace

For my thirteenth birthday my mom and dad gave me this beautifully simple ring as a gift.  A pink opal in the shape of a heart, flanked on each side by a pair of diamonds.  A symbol of my surrendering my heart to Jesus, and entrusting it to my parents for protection until the day that I give it away to my husband.  
Some call it a "Purity Ring" or even a "Promise Ring"--I've never really seen my ring in those titles.  They seem too common for something that means so much to me.  Something that daily reminds me of undeserving grace and unconditional love.  You see, the year before I turned thirteen I went through a very tough time.  A time of questioning, a time of rebellion.  I disrespected my parents, I lashed out at God.  
It was that year that I repented, and rededicated my life to Jesus, fully surrendering myself to Him.  It was then that I was gifted with this token.  I remember receiving it--the first thought that came to my mind was that it was so beautiful; I did not know how any other ring could compare--not even my wedding ring in the future!  Then I felt it.  The kiss of grace.  The rush of love.

I was His.

joy dare: a gift old, new, blue

I smiled when I saw this as the random verse of the day on my phone's Bible widget:

a gift old...

Earlier, after eagerly cutting out the fabric for some skirts this afternoon I ran some fabric through one of our nicer sewing machines.  I was horrified when what was supposed to be gentle lines turned out a mangled mess!  So, at my sister's suggestion, I pulled out my old machine.  The basic beginner's machine.  My birthday present from when I turned 11.  At 9 years old, it thrilled me that it worked...beautifully.

 new...

My dear sister Emma purchased a beautiful silver Starbucks mug for my birthday a couple of weeks ago.  To my utter horror the paint began to chip after a few uses!  So we returned it, but unfortunately, they did not have any of the same style--so I picked this one out.

I love the rustic yet elegant style; thank you, Emma darlin'!  :-)

blue...

God's words...His breath, encapsulated into a language that we could understand.

Mine, encased in blue.

How grateful I am for those that gave their lives that we might be able to read God's Word in our own language!  How precious is the blood that is spilt by those whose passion extends beyond the grave.

(My engraving is wearing off--there used to be an "M" there after my first name!)

 (Okay, so I'm a messy underliner ;-) )

joy dare: a gift inside, outside, on a plate

a gift inside...

With some birthday money, I was able to purchase a Chemex coffee maker; turns out it can be awfully photogenic ;-) The taste of the coffee is so smooth, and it's addicting to make!

I love pouring the hot water in and watching it drip down...so romantic!  ;-)

a gift outside...

I took sweet Paul out for a walk this afternoon... His babbling and giggling is so precious.  I especially love to watch what he does with his hands--how he waves and claps, experimenting their inherent powers!

on a plate...

...and I break the romanticism with a picture of pizza--even with a bite taken out of it!  

Little Caesar's Pizza--a piece of my past, comfort food almost at it's best ;-)  When we first moved here, about nine years ago, Little Caesar's was a staple in our house.  We didn't have a whole lot of time to cook what with the busyness of that year with my mom helping her mom diagnosed with lung cancer, driving to chemo, etc.  So, in spite of the fact that it's terrible for you, it'll always hold a special place in our family's heart ;-)

Today was a work day--then it started to rain...fast and easy comfort food was in order!

joy dare: three gifts heard

I print the calender sheets and tape them up on the fridge.  A schedule for the hunt--the list of treasures to be found everyday.  The pieces of joy to be found in everyday life.  These treasures, waiting to be discovered.

I've decided to take the Joy Dare.  

You all know how much I adore Ann Voskamp's work--her book One Thousand Gifts and her Christmas Devotional.  I had seen the calender sheets on her website before, the simple suggestions for gifts--three a day, amounting to over one thousand by the end of the year.  I had even printed one out a few months ago...but sadly, it grew neglected.

I hesitated from ever chronicling my gifts on my blog, for fear of the same thing.  That they would grow neglected.  That I wouldn't be able to keep up.  And everyone would see.

But then I realized that that very thought goes against grace--the very reason that we turn around to chronicle and thank Him for His gifts in the first place.  Undeserved grace.

So maybe I miss a day.  Or two.  Or 200.

Maybe I've only counted a few gifts since I first started...a year ago.  But that's okay.  Because of grace.

Grace extends the hand, and offers me a second chance.  So here I go.  :-)

Today's suggestion was "3 Gifts Heard".

Three gifts that bring music to my ears.

#1.

Oh, the joyful sound of carefree life!  Full of vigor, eager to laugh, thirsty to learn.

(Oh, yeah.  And because I'm like that, I feel the need to explain the necklace on my little brother, lol.  It's actually made of amber--like a sap, when warm against the skin letting off oils that help ease the pain of teething.  Purely function, not style, haha!)

#2.

#3.

I hear him in the hall...he grunts as he proudly lifts the rocking horse...all by himself.  It's in the way of his Duplos.  He takes care of it.  Like a man.  

What were your "Three Gifts Heard" today?